How To Murder Your Wife
(Who the hell wouldn't?)
Men, let's face it. We're manipulated. The female of the species, who we adore, and would only like to bang and enjoy, have a sinister plot in line for us. It means nothing less than the end of our lives as we've enjoyed them up till now.
"OH, honey, you're the most beautiful man I have ever known. I could satisfy all your sexual fantasies, and I look even better in the morning."
You're hooked. What's wrong with endless nookie? I'll tell ya what's wrong. It's only bait on a hook.
Take a good look at before and after. Does this in any way relate to your vision of happiness? (What do ya think so far -- am I on the right track?) Damn fuckin' straight.
How did that gorgeous vision, that luscious Aphrodite, covered only in naked flesh, turn into such a hideous apparition of her mother... the day after the honeymoon?
This means nothing more nor less than the future of civilization.
Are we men, or are we mice?
Do you long for seductively dressed women, sports cars, a very cool pad, complete with butler, and a six-figure income where your job is play and you wake up every morning at 10 a.m., or are you just another castrated man with three jobs, shoveling shit in hell 'cause it's better than being at home with the ball and chain?
Did this strike any chords?
Here's what you want: Someone to come in to your bedroom in the middle of the night, fuck you rotten and clean the house before you wake up, and be gone until you go to bed the next night -- and if she can't make it she'll send a friend.
What she wants: For you to manage her life so she doesn't have to, spend all your money and into the bargain, give a shitload of abuse to the point where everything you do is wrong, and you don't ever have a hope of ever doing anything right -- and then she moves her decrepit, anti-social, goiter-ridden, shawl-wearing, smelly, insult-hurling, 2-ton mother into your den after she gets rid of your leather sofas, bear skins, and hunting trophies.
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING THROUGH YOUR HEAD?!?
We are MEN. Captains of our ships, masters of our destinies and lords of our manors -- and PC be damned. Like Huey Long said, "Every man is the king of his castle." Let's reclaim our sovereignty. Fuck these harpies. Fuck these castrators of men.
Now, back to the movie...
I just saw a movie called How To Murder Your Wife, and I'm so impressed I'm going to send a movie to anyone who asks for one, for a limited time, of course.
I am going to offer you something so profound, so absolutely helpful, that you can't believe this is a real Internet offer. I'm gonna give you something for nothing. I'm gonna give you a movie... for free. That's right. FREE.
And free means free. No postage. No handling. No cost whatsoever.
Why am I doing this? 'Cause you're guys, and you need to see it.
Sorry, but a chick was helping me write this by telling me to say that last line. See, I'm just like you. So I got this bitch (who I love and adore) (she told me to say that too, damn the bitch!) telling me what to write on my own fuckin' web page. At least she's cool enough to appreciate this totally non-politically correct view of America before the bra-burners took over, even though she's Queen of the Harpies.
You may ask, why am I doing this? I may answer, 'cause I think it's a movie that tells it like it used to be before women's lip put the kibosh on male supremacy, without any bullshit PC -- and I have a burner, and I don't give a shit. Besides, it's the karmically right thing to do.
As victim flies of the Venus on the half-shell flytrap, I feel your pain.
Think of the lost possibilities. You can travel on a tramp steamer, or get a motorcycle. Money won't mean as much and you'll have so much more, because you won't have your better half spending it all on beauty parlors, clothes, jewelry, and more and more life insurance, in preparation of your inevitable demise. The excess money thrown down a rat hole to make your curler-wearing, ratty pink terry-cloth bathrobe-sporting, fuzzy-slipper-wearing hag of an excuse of femininity more attractive, could pay for a speedboat full of babes, and a townhouse in the city. You could have had all that, but you chose to get married instead. (Sucker.)
Now, you have the choice of asking me for this FREE movie, which will enlighten your minds, or you can pass up this free offer and wallow in complete marital ignorance for the rest of your pitiful lives.
It occurred to me that in order to send you this movie you'd have to send me your name and address. let me assure you I will NOT use any personal information for any reason but to send you this dvd. Sure, I could ask for money and drop ship it and make a profit but I'm not into that. I'm simply a fellow guy who wants to better society by giving something away that could make you feel a whole lot better about yourself. You may be asking, "What's this guy up to? No one gives anything away." Well, I do. As I said before, it's a karmic thing.
You'll have to trust me on this.
home Ask Karmasurfer for a free movie